Saturday, March 14, 2009

Crunchless Abs? Gimme a break!

Some fool posted some story about how you can get as strong as Bruce Lee without the gym.

Baloney!

Rockers! I am on a rant! I've been sick and dehydrated lately, but now I'm back with a vengeance...! I've had too much Gatorade. I've had too much rest. So watch out!

OK - so I've had a series of short cuts drift across my desk that have got that bee, who has tenure in my Yankee's cap, a-buzzzin' again.

First - America's obsession with great abs, but the unwillingness to do crunches. Automatic frustration! Crunches are not that bad, either. Have you tried one lately? Let's apply the crunch logic to the guitar. I think crunches are like scales - not exactly fun, but they get you ripped (or on the guitar, ripping.)

I keep seeing ads and books that claim a shortcut around scales. This literally made me angry. I started ranting to myself. You can picture it! Arrrrgh! Josh with steam coming out of his ears! Whew...Maybe that's why I got dehydrated. Anyways, after I cooled down, an interesting visual popped into my head:

We've become so obsessed with finding a short cut, it's like we'll drive fifty miles out of the way to find a Micky D's so we can get fast food instead of waiting. We'll buy some ABominator hammock thingy that will sculpt us while we eat snickers. And we won't, we won't, we won't go to the gym. And we doubly won't practice our scales.

DUH - this isn't good!

It's easier to sit down and learn your scales instead of learning shortcuts. So don't be a girly man!

Do some crunches, and do some scales!

It's good to be back yelling at y'all!

Rock on! And pass the exclamation points!

Josh!

PS. Regarding scales - they are. Sort of like the Sun. Not really because anyone said, but because it's so. It's always good to learn about a phenomenon, not how to cheat it. Now practice, soldier!

1 comment:

jeff said...

this is so true, thanks!