Friday, July 8, 2011

Too much history

I guess my brothers are right. I have been reading too much WWII history.

We all went to see Zoo Keeper, which is effectively Mall Cop II. It's awesome. They should really call it Zoo Cop. Or Mall Keeper. Either way, it was an inspiration. Move out of my way, comrades, because I'm the alpha male, here, got it, funny face?

Pulling up to the movie theater, we were caught in a mega rainstorm. I mean, this rainstorm was like something out of well, a movie!

We were going to wait it out, but then mom said "hey, let's just go inside, you wimps." All of a sudden, I felt like we were in an amphibious landing vehicle, about to storm a beach in the pouring rain. Everyone readied themselves for a mad dash to the I said "Hey man, it's like D-Day!" (Note to self: check to see if it was raining on D-Day.) I yelled "go go go go go!" I ran by my brother. He was walking upright like a normal person. I ran in a crouch, keeping low. "Imagine if people were shooting back!" I yelled. Some other drowned rat person in the parking lot probably thought I was crazy. Maybe it was because I was making gun sounds.

Almost immediately, there was a casualty. My faithful, dear iPhone fell out of my pocket, and lay writhing in a pool of blood, calling for it's mother. "STEVE! STEVE!" (as in Jobs.) Actually, it wasn't writing, but it WAS on the parking lot, which was a puddle.

"OH NO! Man down!" I ran back to him. "Speak to me, little buddy! It's gonna be OK!"

I dried him off, and thankfully, he survived. He's still saying "this accessory not optimized for iPhone" at random intervals...But hopefully he'll get better. I excitedly stared off on a history lesson, telling everyone within earshot how the beaches were scattered with the soldier's belongings on D-Day. Nobody was listening. Before I could get offended, the conversation turned to something else...And then I saw the movie poster for Puss in Boots of Shrek fame. I'm so there!

As far as music goes: Play your song like you're the alpha male.


'Cause I said so.

- Josh

No comments: