Friday, April 8, 2011

The Women

"...And she valued herself." - terri st. cloud

Happy Friday, comrades!

Please forget that you ever read the following blog. I'm putting my chauvinist wit on the shelf temporarily, and actually saying something of substance. Don't worry, I'll be back to my old self soon.

I've been noticing women lately. Ha ha! I mean, a thinking pattern on their part that seems to be appearing...Something psychological that seems to be a trend, and no comrades, I'm not talking about them deliberately confusing us fellas. OK, maybe my chauvinist wit is back. Regardless, I'd like to share a few thoughts with you. Perhaps they could provide a male perspective to any women out there who are struggling, and a human perspective on strength and self-worth. And, of course, musicians need both of those qualities to truly succeed. Disclaimer - I'd never be so stupid as to say I understand the workings of the female mind. Ha! THAT would be silly.

Women are a fascinating gender. Typically not as physically strong as males (although there's quite a few ladies at the gym who could beat me in arm wrestling - but that's not a hard bar to clear), nonetheless, they exhibit an almost superhuman inner power. It's not always obvious, but it's there if you look.

Snapping back into my usual persona for a minute, how'd you think they made it through the 50's and 60's? A woman's gig was LOUSY, and all the Valium in the world couldn't get me through those crushing years of housewifeliness and oppression.

As I mature...scratch that...get older...I've been fortunate to have met some of these super ladies who have endured unimaginable loss, pain, and misfortune, only to emerge wise and kind and strong. Their cores might have always been unshakable, or perhaps they were forged in some of the terrible fires. They spread grace, light, and wisdom along the path for the rest of us, like the wizard in the Black Sabbath song The Wizard. And, just like the rest of us, sometimes they too stumble, or tick me off when they don't laugh at a "hey, cook me some food, woman" joke that I make, but man, that strength is undeniable. Actually, they usually tolerate the jokes alright, and laugh at it like a lioness would laugh at a bird who's yelling it's head off.

I've also noticed that, in other women, that possibly, this passive, quiet strength can actually be self-destructive. I'm always amazed at how the ladies fall all over sub-standard guys. (Ha, this makes me feel better when I get the cold shoulder.) But seriously, I've been seeing so many women in so many lousy relationships, some of them physically, and many of them emotionally, abusive and unhealthy. It seems as if the fear of being alone overpowers basic "HEY! This guy's a creep!" mentality. It saddens me to see people settle for so little, and to tolerate so much needless pain. It's as if that inner strength they possess is devoted to enduring the situation, slave to the idea in their head that this is all they're worth. Endure they do, and they're so good at it, sometimes they wind up dead. Talk about discipline.

I guess we all have these issues, not just women. It's that self-worth thing. I'd like to be a mirror for a day, and walk around so people could really see themselves. Would we all be like Stanley in Weird Al's "UHF" and run to the window, and say "HEY! These floors are as dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more!" (And leave, instead of cleaning them?) Would we stand up tall, and say "I matter?"

So here's my wish that all the ladies out there can see, imagine, or at least even pretend, to know your strength. Because you are strong, so very strong.

OK, so how does this relate to music? Well, us minstrels of the rock often take little or no pay for our craft. If we stopped selling ourselves short, and started acting like we were in the big leagues - maybe we would be! Don't be so hungry for a compliment that you've gotta eat it off the floor. Go up a level or three! Now, sure, sometimes a gig is good for the exposure, sometimes it's nice to help a venue out, and sometimes, you've just gotta pay your dues. But see your worth, in a quiet, humble way...And then take over the town!

It's all upstairs. Do you think you matter? That seems to determine a lot. I know I'm trying to figure it out myself.

- Josh


Char said...

Lord knows your Momma did something right...I love you!!! ;-D

Char said...

Plus...bonus cool points for the UHF clip... ;-p

Josh Urban said...

Aw, thanks, Char! And thanks for realizing how cool of a movie "UHF" is!